Ace Of Base - Dont Turn Around

Madonna - La Isla Bonita

I can't sleep

I'm having such a hard time getting to sleep. Me and my sister stayed up watching Americans got talent till about 5 in the morning then we decided to lay down and try to sleep. I just can't fall to sleep for nothing. It's horrible! Plus I have a bad tooth ache. I need a wisdom tooth pulled and some other work done on my teeth. I can't stop thinking about Miguel either. It has not really been that bad on me though. I think the past two nights I have really been thinking about him and not sure why.

I guess I'm gonna go take a shower and maybe that will help me sleep.

Just blabbing

I was looking through some photos of German Shepard and doberman mix and also German shep/Beagle mix and I think my dog might be German Shep/ Beagle mix? It's so hard to tell though. She is not aggressive in anyway so maybe that's the beagle in her? Shit if I know...

I'm just sitting here bored and nothing to do and don't really want to do anything. I have had people to call and want to go do something but I don't feel like it. I keep dreaming about my boyfriend lol and I wake up a little depressed then I'm ok again. I feel so bad that he has to stay in jail for this long. Even if it's the right thing. Well, I guess it's not a life time so he will be out again and I guess he will move on. I don't know what will happen. I hope he stops drinking and dose something right with him self. Funny thing is if I knew he stopped drinking forever I would take him back. But I know that wont happen. At least not this soon. Shit.. when he gets out of jail I know that's the first thing he is going to want.

My sister is going through almost the same thing as I am only her x is not a drunk but he dose drink. I think she might be taking it harder then me or she could be over it. So far it seems bout the same with us right now. I don't think all of this has really sank in yet. I'm so use to things like this happening it's almost like I just block it out and go on. I have not yet had a real good relationship. I don't even know how to keep one if I did have something good. I'm just who I am and that's it. I don't even want one now anyways and maybe never again. Who knows?

Danm they keep it so cold in this basement. My hands feel like a ice box lol

Just some more venting

Ok.. so I got my Internet back. There has been so many things going on. It has been crazy and when I say crazy I mean that literately. In my other entry I was talking about how I was broke up with my boyfriend and how he has a real bad drinking problem and that's what really causes all the problems between us anyway. I swore to myself I would not give him another chance cause of so many chances he has already had. Well, I gave in once more and he really did stop drinking for a good while. I really thought I did the right thing by taking him back cause he was doing sooooo good! He stopped drinking for a little over a month then he drank again not to long ago. This was the worse he has ever gotten with me while he was drunk.

When I compare this to all the other times I thought things were bad, this was the worse of them all. I'm not really to sure what caused him to go and drink again. I think it might have been from he went so long without drinking and was just really wanting a beer he could not stand it or because of one little incident that happened at our place.

I had already talked it over with him and we both agreed it was ok for my sister to come stay the weekend with us. And the reason I had to get him to agree to it is cause of some things that went on while they both were drinking together one night. And just to throw this in there so no one gets the wrong idea it had nothing to do with cheating. Just a couple small things that happened. Anyway... I got my other grandmother to take me to get some food for the house. I came back and asked him to help me get the food in the house. He tells me straight up NO, that he was busy cooking. So I said if he didn't want to help me then he don't need to eat my food. I did not really mean he could not eat the food. We are a couple and sometimes people say things out of anger.

He gets mad and leaves the food cooking on the stove and walks into the living room saying he was gonna go get some beer and he did not care if I left him or not. Any other time I would have tried to stop him or talk him out of it and most of the time it works. But I had company and I did not want to chase him down and have to baby sit him over the weekend just because he wanted a beer. I thought maybe he was just talking shit or maybe he would just go get one beer or two. So I told him to do what he wants. He came back with a 24 pack of beer and did not stop drinking for 3 days straight.

He came back in the 2nd night I think it was driving me and my sister crazy. Calling us every name in the book and insulting us very bad. And we did what we normally do when someone is talking shit to us that is really not important. We were laughing about it most of the time. I mean he was being pretty funny and on top of that he was drunk. So you can only imagine what was going on.

The 3rd night he came back in he was so messed up it looked like he might have been doing more then just drinking but I was not sure. He went into our room and locked the door. I knocked on the door to get some blankets for me and my sister so I could sleep out in the living room with her. He came out going off telling me he don't love me no more and to get out and that he has a lot of money now and that he don't care about me or want to be with me anymore. I knew the money part was a lie of course lol I just kinda blew the whole thing off cause I really was not in the mood. I just wanted the blankets and that was it.

He broke 2 of my glass tables that night. Took a hammer to the light switch. Punched a hanging light in the dinning room and that blew out. Hits me and pushes me down on the floor. So me and my sister calls the police and he goes to jail. And it took almost 30 mins to get him out of his room. We had a small swat team at our apartment trying to get him out of the room. It was so bad. I didn't think we needed the damn swat team but who knows...

I got a 3 day protection order on him. He was not to come back to the place or contact me in any way for 3 days. He some how sneaks back and shuts the lights off on us while we went to the store. I Had the cops over there again. And there was nothing they could do cause no one really seen him do it. The police figured out how he cut the lights off on us. This fool puts a candy rapper in between the connection pieces and the cop pulls out the candy rapper and the lights come back on. The same night my sister was sleeping on the pull out couch and I was at the other end on her phone on the Internet and I look over cause I heard something in the animals room and theres his big head in the door. He done snuck through the animals window. I forgot that window lock was broke.

He asked me can he stay there that he don't have any where else to go and please don't call the police. I told him I could not let him stay here after I got a protection order on him. So we had to call the police again. He was really drunk and god knows what else he might have been on or doing... He ran before the police were able to catch him. Me and my sister had to go and get a warrant for breaking the protection order. They picked him up the next day and he has been there ever since. He has one bond and no bond for the other charge. He's prolly gonna be there for about 2 months.

Yes I do feel bad for all this. I wish it never happened but I had to do what I had to. I let him get by with all the other things he has done and I still felt bad for that. Everyone told me not to let him get by this time. So I'm going through with everything this time. I just really hate putting someone in jail even if they are guilty. I just didn't know what else to do about all this. He needs to know that he can't be doing this to me or anyone else.

I signed a one year lease with the landlord and My boyfriends name is on it to. I'm the first one that signed it. So I assumed I can stay there until I was asked to leave or till I had the money to pay the rent or at least enough time to get my belongings out. Me and my sister stayed for about a week. The landlord had the lights cut off on us while I was there. We went the last 3 days without no lights. But thanks to the lady upstairs she let us use her electricity coming from the upstairs laundry room. Witch I think is very weird anyway cause that laundry room was suppose to be for upstairs and downstairs residents.

I called a few places on the landlord and told them how he was doing me and how he was trying to say that I was not on the lease and that I was trespassing and all this crazy stuff. He even had the nerve to recopy the lease and add in there that he was renting to my boyfriend only and my signature was still at the bottom. I mean is this man retarded or what is he trying to do or prove by re writing a lease knowing I have the copy of it. There is just so much more I want to say but can't... He was just making up these random lies on me. Things like my dog was in the laundry room and it smells horrible and we were playing music all night really load... and the list goes on and none of this was true what so ever.

I noticed in the back yard that there were some toilet paper coming out of a hole in the back yard next to our back steps. Turns out this man has no septectic tank. I know I spelled that wrong... Anyway who in their right mind rents out a house upstairs and downstairs and has no place for your shit to go in ? lol I don't know how the thing really works but I do know it's not suppose to go into our back yard... I just can't believe it. I really can't. So I called code enforcement and legal aid and they came over and inspected the whole place and found a good amount of things to condemn the downstairs. I knew the place had a lot of problems but I had no other choice cause I signed the lease before the place was even finished. I just thought he would have finished all this before we moved in.

On top of all this I signed the lease for the first of April and he didn't even buy the place until the end of April... So I don't know what's gonna happen with all this. I think he should be in a lot of trouble leasing a house out when it's not even been paid for and not even finished. I'm sure he will have to pay a lot of money to have all this fixed plus maybe some fines or what not... My lawyer told me that since the place got condemned before my lease was over that I would not be responsible to fix any repairs or damage that my boyfriend did. So I just hope not.

I keep thinking that maybe I should just take that 2nd lease he gave me and use that so I wont be held responsible. But the truth is I am on that lease and I signed it.. I guess I will talk to my lawyer about all that. Whatever he has to pay out or happens to him he deserves every bit of it. He is a very cruel person and has a very cruel attitude about everything. And a bad reputation being a Realtor. My boyfriend was also working for this man and even worked on the apartment we rented. Since day one he worked for this man he took advantage of him and always screwed him over on his paycheck. Oh and I just found out today the upstairs is also being condemned.

Now for the 3rd problem I got going on happened today. I got woke up saying the lady next door wanted to talk to me. Apparently she is claiming that my dog attacked her little terrier. I know for a fact this did not happen what so ever. And it's really bothering me cause my dog is not mean and has never bit a person or another dog. She is a big pussy to put it bluntly. The lady changed her story about 5 different times on what happened. First she said it happened yesterday and now she saying it happened Thursday. Apparently she had already had an appointment made for the dog before all this even happened. She told me she didn't see it happen then when I walked back over there she said she did see it.... She said that my dog bit her dogs throat and that it had bite marks and blood. But when she got back my mother and her roommate seen the dog and the dogs wounds are on it's ass....

She saying my dog was running lose and has been running lose for days and I KNOW THATS NOT TRUE! My dog stays on a leash or a chain when she is outside. And the other times she is in the house. She is a inside dog unlike all 7 dogs she has in her back yard in a small fence and the little terrier stays on a small leash in the back of her yard from what I heard with the little dog. This is just not right to being lying on me and of all times to. Why now? I have so much more to worry about then these trashy people that can't afford to take their dog to the vet so they want their neighbors to pay for it.

I got stuck with a ticket for un license dog.. Yay me! My luck right? All I had to pay was 5 bucks to get her tags and I put it off now some random b*tch wants to mess with me out of no where cause she broke. I told the lady I knew that she was lying and I could see it all in her face and her darther wanted to fight me lol I thought that was funny cause I'm not a fighter anymore. I just stood there and told her to come on that I would just get restitution on her lol and yeah... I would have. Why should I give her the privilege of putting me in jail for hitting her or paying her money. I don't think so! Thank God I got Katies rabies shots or she would have had her head cut off for testing. Then that would have been a different story. The things I would have done for that lady lying... I got her vet papers saying she owes $2oo something and no I will not pay it she can take me to court. My mother offered this women the vet bill to keep the drama down and that's not working for me. No one should have to pay for something that didn't really happen! If in some weird way she did win. It would just go on my credit :) So Whatever...